Domestic Violence

On the Web

Mailing List

S.F. Bay Area

What To Do

Domestic Violence (World Wide Web Resources)

• The Family Peace Project Home Page
• U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
• Domestic Violence Project of Santa Clara County
• SafetyNet Domestic Violence Resources Very comprehensive.
• Domestic Violence Handbook
• Domestic Violence - Statistics
• State Coalitions and Information on Domestic Violence
• Domestic Violence Organizations & Projects
• VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN OFFICE of the U.S. Department of Justice.
• Domestic Violence Handbook
• National Council On Child Abuse and Family Violence
• Kate's Domestic Violence Pages
• Family Violence Prevention Fund

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Mailing Lists concerned with Domestic Violence...

After each List entry is an example of the command you might send to subscribe to that particular mailing list. Most of these commands will work as listed.

By choosing a List, you will be sending e-mail to the subscription address listed for this mailing list. Typically, you send a one-line email message (leave the subject heading blank) to this address which includes:

subscribe name-of-list

Sometimes your name or email address is also required after the name-of-list. If so, you will probably receive an automated reply from the mailing list server. This is noted in the below list with the appended "Your-name" or "Your-email-addr". Replace this with your First and Last name or your e-mail address where appropriate.

If nothing else works, send a one-line email message with the word "help" in it.

• Domestic violence, child abuse, sexual assault and crisis/trauma intervention -- subscribe Survival
• Family violence -- subscribe intvio-L
• Intimate violence -- subscribe ejintvio
• Stop Domestic Violence -- subscribe SDV Your-email-address

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Local resources for the S.F. Bay Area:

• Family Violence Center
  A full service center
  125 East Gish Road
  San Jose, CA
  (408)277-3700
  
  
• Support Network for Battered Women
  Mountain View
  Languages spoken: English, Spanish
  (650) 940-7855; (800) 572-2782
  
  
• Next Door -- Solutions to Domestic Violence
  San Jose
  Languages spoken: English, Spanish, Chinese
  (408) 279-2962
  
  
• Community Solutions
  Gilroy
  Languages spoken: English, Spanish
  (408) 683-4118
  
  
• WATCH (Women and Their Children´s Housing)
  (408) 942-0209
  FAX: 942-0244
  E-mail: lbreen@watchworks.org
  
  
• Asian Women's Shelter
  San Jose
  Languages spoken: Korean, Cantonese, Cambodian, Vietnamese,
  Mandarin, Filipino, English
  (408) 975-2739
  
  
• MAITRI
  Fremont
  Languages spoken: English, Hinki, Bengali, Tamil, Telugu, Kanada,
  Punjabi and other south Asian languages.
  (888) 862-4874
  
  
• SAVE (Shelter Against Violent Environments)
  (510) 794-6055
  
  
• Sor Juana Ines
  San Mateo
  Spanish language Hotline (800) 300-1080
  
  
• National Domestic Violence Hotline
  (800) 799-7232
  
  
• Family Violence Prevention Fund
  (415) 252-8900
  

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Are you in an abusive relationship? Ask yourself these questions

Is your relationship bad for your health or heading into dangerous territory? Take this test and find out. If you answer yes to more than two of the categories, turn to someone for help.

Is he someone who . . .

• Is jealous and possessive toward you, won't let you have friends, checks up on you, won't accept breaking up?
  
• Tries to control you by being very bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions, does not take your opinion seriously?
  
• Is scary? Do you worry about how this person will react to things you say or do? Does this person threaten you, use or own weapons?
  
• Is violent? Does this person have a history of fighting, lose his temper, brag about mistreating others?
  
• Pressures you for sex, is forceful or scary about sex? Thinks that women or girls are sex objects, attempts to manipulate or guilt-trip you by saying, If you really loved me, you would..., or gets too serious about the relationship too fast for comfort?
  
• Abuses drugs or alcohol and pressures you to take them?
  
• Blames you when you are mistreated? Says you provoked it?
  
• Has a history of bad relationships, and blames the other person for all the problems?
  
• Believes that men should be in control and powerful and that women should be passive and submissive?
  
• Has hit, pushed, choked, restrained, kicked or physically abused you?
  
• Makes your family and friends concerned about your safety?

SOURCE: Mount Auburn Hospital Prevention and Training Center and the Dating Violence Intervention Project.

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What Should I Do If I'm Abused?

If you are the Victim of Domestic Violence you should:

Seek Safety

Immediately get away from the Abuser.
Seek shelter at a neighbor's home, drive away to an area
with a lot of people, or go to a friend or relative's home.
Just get away from further abuse!

Contact the Police

Don't hesitate...call the police.
California has tough Domestic Violence Laws for your protection.
Let the police help you!

Cooperate and follow-through!

Provide the police with a detailed account of what happened
to you and/or your children. Often, victims are reluctant
to pursue their legal rights for a number of reasons.
Follow the advice of the police.

Make a Statement

Give the police a complete written statement.
This will also help you deal with the situation by psychologically
making a "statement" that you will not tolerate being abused.
It will also help with court proceedings later.

Talk to a Domestic Crisis Intervention Counselor

The police can put you in contact with a Domestic Violence
case worker who can immediately set into place measures
for getting you relief by providing safe havens
for you and your children; counseling for the family;
assistance in obtaining a Protection Order; food; clothes;
and a variety of other services.

DON'T BE ASHAMED!

Seek help! You are a Victim so don't feel ashamed.
Failure to seek help only reinforces the "hold" over you
and subjects you to a continued life of abuse.
If you were sick you'd see a doctor.
If you're being abused.....call the police!

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